Most mature adults ask questions about their purpose. The prerequisites for this are unrealized ideas and a person “crushed” by his parents in childhood. What to do with your life? Any child will easily answer this question that he, for example, wants to become an astronaut or a military man, and an adult, in turn, will be confused and will not be able to give an affirmative answer. This is due to the fact that children have a more clear idea of what they want from life.
Factors that prevent a person from deciding what to do in life
"Who do I want to be? What do I want out of life? Why can't I understand what my main purpose is?" There are a lot of questions, and they are all related to the fact that a person is unable, for some reason, to fully understand himself and his feelings and desires. This may be due to a number of social and psychological factors in the individual's daily life, personality traits, habits and social circle.
Diffidence
Constant barriers that stand between a person and his goal in the form of doubts and uncertainty provoke suppression of the desire to realize his unrealized potential. “Will I be able to? What if I don’t succeed?” Sometimes the cultivation of insecurity occurs at the stage of growing up, where the individual first encounters failures, misunderstandings and lack of support from loved ones. Doubts about one’s own abilities significantly impede not only the implementation of plans, but also a person’s personal growth.
Features of the educational process
All our successes and failures, addictions, fears and dreams come from childhood. Most parents, not listening to the wishes of their children, instill skills and abilities that are completely unusual for them. For example, a child, when asked “What do you want to do in life?” answers that he wants to be an artist. His answer is perceived by his parents as something unrealistic, something that will not bring any material wealth or career growth. As a result, the child encounters complete misunderstanding on the part of adults, and his potential becomes unrealized.
However, there are also cases when parents try to organize their child’s leisure time as much as possible, forcing him to develop comprehensively. Of course, an adult who has knowledge about various fields of activity will be able to achieve a lot, but in most cases the person still does not know what to do because he forgets his original desires and aspirations.
Environment
Stewardship, a kind of herd instinct, sometimes blinds a person to his true capabilities and abilities. For example, several people from close circles enter the same college/institute/university and pull the person along with them. With certain personal qualities, he will not be able to resist. The result of studying without any special desire, and so “for the company”, is the choice of the wrong profession, the wrong job. As a result, an acute lack of positive emotions develops, work becomes routine, and a person, living a boring, gray life, begins to ask the question: “What should I do in life in order to regain satisfaction from my own activities?” But he does not find an answer, because his “I” has already deeply hidden the capabilities and talents of a person, so as not to resist his choice.
Stereotypes
Each person has his own opinion about what happiness should be. But some agree on one thing: a happy person is one who has achieved everything in life, who lives without denying himself anything. People’s stereotypes have so developed that without material wealth, no one can consider themselves successful and accomplished. In this regard, a person, in his desire to understand what to do in life, more often strives to get rich, to become someone whose material capabilities are practically limitless, rather than to develop spiritually. No, this is not bad at all, but it is worth considering that money cannot bring full release of potential, since each of us is individual. For example, a person who is more inclined to creativity (drawing, singing, playing musical instruments, and so on) is often not endowed with a certain commercial spirit, which nullifies all his attempts to achieve material well-being.
"What do I want to do with my life?" The problem with this issue is that not everyone is able to sort out their own desires and dreams. Most people lack specificity in defining purpose. Most often this is due to urgent needs, the satisfaction of which comes first. Here, an adult can be compared with a teenager, guided by the desires and preferences of parents, relatives and friends. What is the best thing to do in life - the answer lies in the subconscious of each individual; for this you need to ask yourself motivational questions:
- What values are prerogative in your life (no more than three)?
- Achieving what goals is important to you at the moment (no more than three)?
- What do you like to do?
- What would you like to do if you found out that you have six months to live?
- What is your most cherished dream that was not realized due to fear of failure?
- Where would you spend a large amount of money won from the lottery/lotto/poker?
- What dream would you pursue if you were 100% sure of success?
Development of intuition
By developing intuitive abilities, in the future you will be able to listen to your own subconscious, which gives us hints and the right answers. Then, understanding what to do in life will not be a problem for you - you can easily determine your calling and begin direct activities.
Books
Reading is something that people do in their lives in almost every social class. Books are a great way to understand yourself. Read as much as possible, but not everything. Be selective in your choice of literature, take into account your preferences. There is no need to force yourself to master complex works - this way you will develop a dislike for reading books.
Systematization
Making lists will help you decide what to do in life. For example: shopping list, planning the day. Systematize desires, attitudes towards people and things, work and hobbies. A list of your positive and negative qualities, as well as skills and abilities, will allow you to figure out what occupation is best for you to do, in what field to work.
Responsibility
Know how to take responsibility for your actions without blaming loved ones, the government and society as a whole for your failures. Responsibility allows you to realize that life and the choices you make depend only on you, which means that only you can know how to act correctly in a particular matter. What should you do in life? First of all, learn to organize yourself and your activities.
Right choice
In any situation, rely on your own subconscious. Do you want to understand whether the right choice was made? Close your eyes and mentally imagine that the person who is now next to you is not there. Did you feel good or bad? This will be the correct answer. Visualize the consequences of your choice - this will help you avoid irreparable mistakes.
Pause
Pausing before making a life-changing decision allows you to think things through more carefully. You should not act based only on emotions and momentary impulses - this is fraught with a negative outcome, regrets and uncertainty about future achievements. Do you want to change your job? Weigh the pros and cons, consider the outcome of your actions.
Exercises to Reveal Hidden Potential
Thanks to classes, you can easily determine your true purpose. Various psychological techniques are often difficult to use, so it is easier to use visualization of plans, desires and future actions. This does not require additional skills or knowledge - everything is very simple, you just need a blank sheet of paper, a pen or pencil and a little patience.
Extract and analysis of hobbies, favorite activities
Relax and think about what activities you know that you enjoy the most. Write down at least 20 known hobbies or professions. For example: floriculture, playing the piano, writing articles, dancing, sports, cooking, etc. Analyze the finished list, write next to each item the time that you devote (are ready to devote) to this or that type of activity during each day, as well as your preferences in the form of advantages.
Take a close look at your list. Near one (several) points you can see the largest number of advantages and time - this is your unrealized destiny.
Visualization of material well-being
Imagine that your life has changed dramatically, and now, in order to provide for yourself or your family, you no longer need to sit all day in an office, stand at a machine in a factory, run around with a courier bag - in general, you don’t need to work. A bank account has been opened in your name with a round sum, which is enough for a long, comfortable existence, and your children study at a prestigious academy. Introduced? Now think about what you would do if you had a lot of free time and material wealth. Record all possible options on paper and analyze. Your further actions are the beginning of working on yourself in this particular type of activity.
Many people live their lives without even knowing what exactly they want to do. They go to jobs they hate, do projects they hate, and report to a person they hate with all their hearts. And they don’t even think about the fact that things could be different. After all, we have one life, and it’s clearly not worth spending it on disgusting work. Decided to change everything right now? This is great, but then you have the problem of every person. What do you really want to do? It seems that yesterday you understood this perfectly well, but today you are confused. If you can’t decide, then we will help you find your purpose. Just follow our tips and you can find the best activity for you.
Think about yourself
Show healthy selfishness. Don’t try to help everyone at once, but take care of yourself. How can you decide what is interesting to you in life if you are constantly busy with other people's problems? Forget about those around you for a while. Ask yourself: if you were completely alone now, without friends and family, without a job you hate, and you were not limited in choice, what exactly would you like to do? Don't be afraid to be selfish. If you don’t put your interests above public interests, no one will.
Don't regret anything
Don't be ashamed to be selfish. This is your life. The time has come for you to choose a path that will please you, and not your environment. Don't regret anything. If you constantly regret things you did or didn't do in the past, then you are simply standing still. Don't live in the past. Live for today. Live your future.
Think about what you need most
We don't always understand what we really need in life. And it is extremely difficult to find out. Just sit down and think about it. What is important to you? Family? Freedom of expression? Financial well-being? You can make a list of priorities if that helps.
Identify what's bothering you
You can only really decide sensibly what you want to do if nothing is holding you back. If you are upset about something or your head is full of things to do, then you will never be able to choose wisely. Plus, find out what exactly irritates you at the moment. No need to say that office work annoys you. Think about what aspect of your job is giving you anxiety. Are you annoyed by your boss? What is your schedule? Your position? Or all at once? Now think about how you can change this? Perhaps you are satisfied with your current situation, and changing just a couple of its aspects will make you the happiest person.
Now find out what brings you pleasure
Pleasure is the key to a happy life. If you enjoy life, then you are not just living your years, but filling them with meaning. Pick a couple of moments in your life when you were truly happy. What brought you pleasure? Trips? Communication with children? Campaign management? When you understand what truly makes you happy, it will be easier for you to choose your future path.
Tell everyone around you about your dream
There is no need to hide from your family and friends that you have decided to give up everything and go towards your dream. Tell your friends and family about everything. If you share your thoughts, they will definitely support you in your endeavors and help you to the best of their ability. You will also get a lot of interesting ideas. After all, one head is good, but two are better.
Get in a good mood
Life doesn't always go according to the script we write. There is no need to fall into apathy if something doesn’t work out for you. Instead of grieving and doing nothing, get up and continue what you started with renewed vigor. Not immediately, but success will come to you. This is just a slight delay, not a complete failure. Do not give up. Just think positive thoughts and do what you have dreamed of all your life.
Just don’t think that finding your purpose is so easy. Many people search for it all their lives. The main thing is not to stop and keep looking. One day the muse will descend upon you and help you find your life’s work. Until then, try it. Try without sparing yourself. Try different professions and activities. After all, without trying, you will never know whether it is for you or not.
Do you think you have found the ideal activity for yourself?
It looks like you've gone a little astray since you opened an article with that title. You may be worried and panicking, but in vain: you are a happy person who has discovered the opportunity to choose. And we will help you set a guideline.
// Don't compare and be honest with yourself
Let's get one thing straight: you are not unique in being afraid and not knowing what to do with your life. We all want to be happy and make as few mistakes as possible, but we are afraid to take risks, so we compare ourselves with those we consider lucky.
“But Sasha has decided on a career. She has a good job and in general...”
Perhaps in six months it will come out that Sasha hates her office space and has no idea how to arrange a life outside of it.
There is no need to look to other people for solutions to your problems. If you decide to go your own way and make your own choice, then be kind and inventive enough to make it, and not copy someone else’s path.
Don’t compare yourself to everyone around you to once again prove that everyone is doing well, I’m the only one so unhappy.
Let's be clear: do you pretend that you don't know what to do with your life or do you just like this state of being lost and unwilling to make decisions? Think about it. You can also ask yourself
// Get rid of material attachments and leave time for yourself
There are times when you get bogged down with too many things or desires to acquire them.
"I'm working to buy an iPhone"
We are exaggerating, but when a person who has not seen his mother for months and has long forgotten about sleep spends two salaries on a new phone, this is not entirely good.
It’s great that you have a financial incentive, but sincerely evaluate how right it is to work your ass off at a job you don’t like for the sake of branded clothing or expensive equipment.
Try to sometimes put aside all your gadgets and be alone with yourself: listen to yourself, your thoughts. Sometimes things get in the way of focusing on yourself.
//Mom, I'll sort it out
If relatives or friends pester you with questions about work or life plans, do not panic. Time is your own unit and only you can manage it.
Explain that you have time to find your life's work, your path. And that you need help and support, not instructions and pressure.
Now is a cool time because you can choose anything. Can you imagine how much space there is? There is no need to think that you are wasting time if you feel that you need it.
// Don't idealize
There are no perfect solutions in life and that's wonderful. They did not expect? We want to remind you that the most interesting steps are taken unexpectedly, even thoughtlessly, suddenly. Reason sometimes forces us to give up bold decisions.
This rule also applies to your life - relax and stop doing only the “right” things.
// Short-term amnesia as a way to discover something new
Take stock of the things in your life that you love. Think about what you love to do most, what inspires you? And the most important question:
What can make you forget about eating and sleeping?
Music? Movie? Working with colleagues? Communication with children? We can write this down on a piece of paper. Let's try:
# Work in a team
# Learn new technologies
# Paint
The list looks like great reasons to enroll in a design course. We always advise: if it’s difficult to make a decision, write, write down, visualize your desires on paper, this makes it easier to analyze the next steps.
// Change the usual course of events
A different route, a different breakfast, a run instead of an omelet in the morning, meeting friends for lunch, a different book—break the routine to discover something new to love. Insight can come if you take a different road or enter a new store.
// Take risks
Sometimes you can't decide whether to take advantage of a chance or not. So, yes, it’s worth it.
If a person had not clicked a stone against a stone or had not tasted the berries, our lives would have turned out differently. As soon as you use one opportunity, another one immediately appears.
That is why try to get another job, open your own business, participate in a volunteer program or go to work in Singapore
There is only one life - try it!
// Think less and do more yourself
Just do it. Allow yourself to make small decisions that feel good to you. Today it will be a latte instead of a cappuccino, and tomorrow you will become who you want to be, because most often this fear of decision-making is directly related to the fact that you are dissatisfied with yourself. So try to do things that give you small bursts of pride.
If you want to change your life, start by admitting that you have the right to make mistakes. One, two, several.
It is responsibility for the decisions made that will allow you to evaluate your strengths, and inaction and whipping up a depressive mood are unlikely to help.
// Think big
Think about who you want to remain in history: what will your grandchildren say about you, will they write about you in a textbook. You don't have to want it, but you can try.
Maybe you want to open a relief fund, create a vaccine, paint a great picture, come up with a story that will remain in the hearts of people? You really can do all this, just start right now and work with all your heart.
The fate of a person is a path of trial and error, self-education and other steps. I can do everything, I want everything, but how do I know what choice to make?
1. Take two hours of our time (undivided, personal and quiet) and sit down at the table
It is important. Not on the sofa, not on the bench, but at the table. We write down everything that we like to do and that interests us. Let it even be a stream of thoughts. It is important to write EVERYTHING.
Now put the paper aside and go to bed. The next day we looked at it soberly, analyzed it, and crossed out the outright nonsense. Now it’s easier - there is a basis and ways of direction.
2. Read, listen, visit
Over the course of a week or two, try reading/listening/visiting several places/events related to your chosen areas. Breathe the local air, feel the atmosphere.
3. What don't you like?
Let's go the opposite way and decide in the same way what we DO NOT like to do. For example, come to work with your mom/dad/other relatives and understand whether it’s yours or not. Did you see? I do not like? Hood. There is already something.
4. Internship
Any office/magazine/work place of your dreams is always in need of interns/volunteers. IT'S SO SIMPLE. Exactly. You just need to dial the authority’s phone number and ask about the internship conditions. Trying is not torture. Such an experience will “sober up” your ideas about future work in the best possible way and make it clear whether this is “it” or not.
5. Travel a lot and often if possible.
A closed space, the same circle of friends, communication often leads us to a dead end. There is an explosion in your head, a burst of inspiration and energy. You see how people live far and near, what they do.
6. Talk to older people
Age is not as important here as life experience is. Especially the experience of those who are already successful in their business and have achieved something. Ask for advice, be interested.
7. Interest club
There are a lot of organizations for students/youth not only based on their interests, but also in a general direction, so to speak. There you can find like-minded people - one, have a good time - two. Three - often the people around us make us understand who WE really are.
8. Read a lot
9. Although it’s the ninth, it’s a very important point(!)
Please think with your own head. Not mom/dad/family/maternal aunts, but your own. YOU get to live and love what you do. This is your ambition, life.
10. Make contacts
This is now called “networking” (from “network”, translated from English). Your interested and capable friends now are successful people, entrepreneurs, and specialists in the future. Be nicer to everyone. Really try to help others whenever possible. Such relationships with people are the building blocks of the future. What you do now is what you do later.
11. We know how to relax
You can’t always search hard for your calling. Have you thought about it? Doesn't work? Let's take a break and just relax.
12. But here’s the catch (see point 9) - listen to your family and friends
13. Test
Take a career aptitude test. I'm not laughing now. Thousands of psychologists and other specialists developed these types of tests for a reason. Every question and your answer to it has meaning. Whether to follow the test results or not is your choice.
14. Exhale, there’s not much left
So, let's try to get out of our comfort zone and do something we haven't tried before. We come up with 2-3 classes a week maximum and expand our horizons. Imagine that you are a guinea pig and a doctor at the same time. Observe your reactions to certain objects/activities/activities. Draw conclusions.
15. Last and most important
Are you ready? Be yourself. Seriously. Stop copying anyone if you have done it before. Someone's experience may not suit you, someone's views may differ from yours, and that's okay. Everyone has his own path. It is important to go through it yourself from beginning to end.
The problem of choice is one of the most difficult. Which suit to wear? Where should I send my child to study? What to do in the evening? These are the most innocent questions that arise before everyone throughout life. Most of us are not sure what we would like to do in life. For years they automatically go to a tired office, perform boring duties and feel deeply unhappy. But how can you understand what to do in life if no instructions on this matter have yet been invented?
There are still some ideas. So how do I figure out what I want and what will make me happy?
Task #1: Think about yourself
Stop choosing your path in life to please your parents, please your friends, or win the approval of your loved ones. Stop trying to please everyone! Turn on healthy egoism and ask yourself: “What do I want to do in life?”
Imagine yourself as an orphan, without friends, relatives, acquaintances and any social pressure. In front of you is an empty city without a single person, but you have the opportunity to do absolutely anything you like. What would you choose?
Task #2: Don't be sorry
There is no shame in choosing a path in life. Parents will sooner or later leave, old friends will drop out, some even change spouses like gloves. But only what we love and bring pleasure remains with us. So think about your future self and try to find that business. Try and don't regret failures. No matter what your relatives and friends say, your calling is something that will stay with you forever. And searching for it is impossible without errors. Don't be afraid to try.
Task #3: Decide what is important to you
Find what is really important to you in life. Ask yourself the question: “What do I want to do in life, regardless of other people’s opinions?” Don't look back at the opinions of authorities! Decide on your own. Do your parents put family first? But it doesn’t have to be the same for you. Choose your favorite profession, travel, self-knowledge or anything else that your heart is drawn to. The main thing at this stage is to clearly define the goal.
Challenge #4: Remove Constraints
Sometimes limiting factors prevent you from making a choice: irritation, bad mood, conflict situations. But how do you know what to do in life if all this negativity weighs on you? Decide what is preventing you from making the only right decision at this moment and abstract yourself from it. Maybe you don’t want to, it’s just unfortunate circumstances? Understand these questions and then make a decision.
Challenge #5: Find what makes you happy
Pleasure is one of the decisive moments of human existence. The desire to do something depends on the pleasure we get from this activity. Find what brings you joy, pleasure, satisfaction and persistently move in this direction. Do you love? Get a job as a freelance correspondent for a travel publication (Internet portal) and write essays about your trips. Do you like children? Go work in a children's educational center and realize yourself in this field.
Task #6: Tell everyone about your dream
It’s not enough to understand what makes you happy, you need to get the support of others. This is a powerful incentive, inspiring on the difficult path to a dream, which encourages you in moments of despondency and constantly encourages you to storm new heights. So don’t be shy and tell everyone what you dream of doing. From this moment on, you have no way back: you cannot return to the dull comfort zone and ruin your only life with impunity.
Task No. 7: tune in to victory and don’t be afraid of obstacles
Keep a positive scenario in mind for your life. Don't be afraid of failures! Learn from them and move on with renewed determination and rage. Even Donald Trump fell. But he did not grieve over his failures, but rose to his feet again and moved forward to spite his enemies. Now he is reaping the fruits of his perseverance and unbending will.
Now you can tell yourself: “I know how to understand what I want, and I see my path!” If you have undecided friends, share this information with them too.
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