We need to take things more simply. How to approach life more simply? Determine your motivation

In the modern world, one of the current psychological diseases is depression, which is associated with a fast pace of life, overload with professional activities, stress, and insomnia. But in order for depression not to bother you, you need to know how to approach life more simply. Thus, all unpleasant situations or unfinished tasks will not affect consciousness and, accordingly, well-being in a negative way.

Many will be surprised how you can approach life more simply, because life itself is a serious component on which many things depend, for example, financial stability, family well-being and personal happiness. Some have already come to the conclusion that they take any temporary failures in life too seriously and to heart and that this interferes with an adequate assessment of what is happening and making the right decision.

Errors

One of the main problems in the implementation of plans and goals, freedom of choice, and the ability to enjoy life is the fear of making a mistake. But, as you know, you learn from mistakes, and absolutely every person makes mistakes. Only some people stop after failures, while others try again and achieve what they want. In this case, you need to work on yourself and eliminate the fear of making a mistake. First of all, you need to understand that there are no perfect people and everyone makes mistakes and perceive a mistake only as a lesson and nothing more. Make mistakes, learn, try again and achieve your dreams.

Condemnation

“Thanks to” certain attitudes that were instilled, as a rule, from childhood and imposed by the environment or parents, many people cannot adequately assess the situation. For example, a person has taken a certain action and is afraid of condemnation from friends, colleagues or relatives, since he himself is not sure of the correctness of the decision made or the action taken. Remember that no one has the right to judge you, especially if it concerns you personally and your life. If someone tries to criticize you or impose their point of view, look at the situation differently. Just thank the person and tell him that you will take his opinion into account. There is no need to be nervous and worry, your emotional state should be more important to you. This is why you need to know how to approach life more simply.

Today

Learn to live one day at a time and remember that “The best day, as you know, is today.” Enjoy a new day every morning, learn to be grateful, do not waste time scrolling through negative thoughts in your head or sorting out relationships with others. Just smile and be happy. If you have set goals, made lists, especially long-term goals, you know what is important to you and what you live for. Go towards your intended goal and don’t get distracted, because wasting your time on situations or people that are unnecessary for you will not get you closer to your goal.

Optimism and success

If you want to become a successful person, then live with optimism. Don't let yourself and your life be controlled. Start with yourself, improve yourself, learn to control your thoughts, words and emotions, develop positive qualities and habits. Look at the world through rose-colored glasses, but in this case, do not overdo it, we are talking about optimism, not frivolity.

Responsibility

From this very day, from this very moment, now take responsibility for your life, if you have not already done so. Stop blaming someone for your failures, expecting something from other people, complaining about life and circumstances. Are you unhappy with your financial situation and want to earn more? Look for new methods and techniques, try and put them into practice. Are you unhappy with your job? Quit and find someone else who will bring you pleasure. But stop complaining about life, and better yet, really listen to advice on how to approach life more simply.

Remember that everything that happens to you is not accidental, and only you can influence your life, the choice is yours, what impact it will be - positive or negative. Learn positive thinking, work on yourself, develop and don’t be afraid of anything, get rid of all fears, except for one innate and only fear of instinct - the fear of death, and everything else, by and large, only complicates your life.

Many people ask how easier attitude towards life to live a happy and successful life and solve problems faster and better, so as not to return to them again and again. Everyone can become simpler, but in order to approach life’s difficulties just as easily, you need to put our tips indicated in the article into practice.

In this article you will learn how easier attitude towards life , what ways and methods are there for this, what you need to do, know and be able to do in order to gain a well-deserved quality of life, happiness and success. After all, every person is given what he deserves and everyone determines for themselves what they need. The one who thinks about failure gets it just like the one who thinks about success and gets success.

You are the creator of your destiny

Learn to rise above selfishness

Never give up or lose heart

To have a simpler approach to life, you need to remember that if you lose heart, you die prematurely, and therefore, if you do not become stronger spiritually, you will not be able to achieve success in your earthly existence in your body. Only when you learn to live consciously and control your life yourself will you be stronger. Never give up and go forward towards your goals, because you need to work on yourself, not have fun, because entertainment has never made anyone happier.

psycho- olog. ru

Question for a psychologist:

Good afternoon. I have flashes of sadness over normal problems. Such as lack of money, large bills for housing and communal services, the need to make large purchases, etc. I pointed out that these are flashes, because at the moment when, as it seems to me, a problem arises, it always happens as if suddenly for me, that is, at some minute I understand that there is no money (although, firstly, there is, secondly, I knew about the spending in advance and I agreed with everything and understood everything) I get terribly upset, just as if a catastrophe had happened, then I try to find the strength to cope with this situation, but I start to cry furiously and in the end I'm looking for the culprit. Usually the outbreak lasts 1 day, the next day I try to pull myself together, be disciplined, and already on the 3rd day I begin to be tormented by a feeling of guilt and misunderstanding - what is the reason for all this. I tried to look for some deep reason in this, but there is none. Everything is really normal, I just react this way to some minor difficulties. I am very scared and it seems to me that everything that is happening is not my life, I made some mistake and now everything will be bad. I'm married, no children, high school, normal. I earn money. I come from a single-parent family, I lived with my grandmother, then with my mother, relations in the family were always not very friendly and somehow it is not customary for us to discuss everyday issues, everything somehow has to be resolved on its own and someone always has something for us must. My mother and I lived quite poorly, in an old hostel, and in my youth it always seemed to me that nothing would work out in life and that I had to work very hard. I have been working since I was 17 years old. My relationship with my husband is good, except for the problem described. We earn the same amount, but since we have a mortgage, renovations, and youth, sometimes we don’t have enough money, but this is some kind of standard situation, i.e. just like others. I don’t know when such attacks began, but I always reacted very violently to everyday problems, it seemed to me that the question of money, how to spend it, take out loans / not take out loans, buy equipment, not buy, is of paramount importance. I really don’t like it when people don’t know how to count money or behave wastefully. I would even say I hate this. Sometimes such outbreaks happen for other reasons, for example, now I can’t get pregnant, and sometimes it seems to me that this will never happen, but again it all comes down to money, and if I can’t, then I will need money. At the same time, I never regret my loved ones. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself, but if my mother needs expensive medicine, what are we talking about, it’s necessary. The essence of my question is not the problems themselves, but these difficulties exist. And how not to be hysterical about this. Somehow it’s easy to say in words - I’m upset that I didn’t have enough money for a haircut, etc. and so that at the same time it would let me go, that is, I would calmly worry about the problem. I have no questions or complaints about myself in life, I love myself and, in principle, I have peace with myself, this applies to appearance, work, etc. And in life I am a calm person, even in stressful situations I am always very calm, there are no outbursts of emotionality with me. I can shout or quarrel with someone (for example, in a clinic), but I do this not because I can’t restrain myself, but because I know that sometimes problems can be solved with the help of pressure, and for me this is just a method, nothing more. But this happens very rarely. But when I get upset, I stop being myself, I turn into the aunt from the Let Them Talk program, I moralize, demand, look for who is to blame and hate myself for it. Then everything goes away. I used to quarrel with my mother like that, now sometimes I blame my husband, sometimes I just withdraw into myself and get hysterical with myself. When I lived with my mother, I believed that everything was her fault, that she was not capable of solving even her own problems, and that she could listen to me and somehow be more organized and collect less gossip and be indignant, and be more involved in her own life. In the end, I bought my mother an apartment, I take care of her because she is sick, I solve all the problems, and so the problem with her was resolved. All this no longer irritates me, since she has a very serious incurable disease and it seems like there’s nothing to talk about, the person is sick. My husband and I think that we live too well, that is, we should be more modest. But we don’t drive expensive cars or spend money unreasonably. But we buy good furniture and equipment, and clothes, go to paid dentistry, etc., that is, we are a modern family that does everything ourselves and does not expect anything from anyone. But we must remember what country we live in and there is no need to get used to good things. And in the end (for example, this case is one of many), when buying a kitchen, I threw a tantrum that it was very expensive, although neither the price at that time nor the company had been agreed upon, but I was sure that he would order the most expensive and we wouldn’t be able to pay for it. Why? I don't know. He is a decisive person who can be relied upon; I am not required to make such decisions. Why couldn’t I say - honey, it’s expensive, we need to consider other options. Answer: because he won't listen to me. But there was never a time when he didn’t listen to me. He sometimes jokes with me that I’m a terrible money-eater, but this doesn’t concern serious issues, these are jokes about the fact that I don’t want to pay for SMS from the bank for 60 rubles. or that I’m the same old woman who finds out where things are cheaper and goes to the other end of the city, etc. Sometimes I get angry with him, why he can buy himself an expensive sweater, but I can’t. But this has nothing to do with the ban or lack of money. It's just that he can, but I can't. He's a cool guy, and I'm a poor guy. I had panic attacks before, which also lasted 3 days, the same cycle as I described. My specific question is how to be myself all the time, the calm, reasonable person that I am. How to be calmer about everyday difficulties? Thank you in advance.

Psychologist Alexander Evgenievich Zhuravlev answers the question.

Hello, Ekaterina.

Well, let's still start working on ourselves in the sense of expanding self-awareness, personal growth and learning to control ourselves!

What am I talking about?

First of all, I mean that right from this very minute, start controlling your thoughts - STOP CRITICIZING YOURSELF! And this is precisely about self-control. The order of thoughts affects the emotional background that accompanies this or that event in your life.

So, first, remove self-criticism. You find the opportunity to criticize yourself for literally everything: for what is very rational and reasonable; for having your own opinion on any matter; because you have a completely different nature.

Vice versa! Ekaterina, start praising and encouraging yourself! Carry out the so-called "reframing". That is, find such NAMES for the manifestations of your character, the features of your philosophy and worldview. which would not contain negative connotations!

This does not apply to you personally, but here are some examples:

timidity can be called caution, timidity and suspiciousness - foresight, stinginess - frugality, severity - restraint, etc.

Very soon the feeling of heaviness will go away on its own.

At the same time, start encouraging yourself.

In my previous answer to a rather complex question about finding yourself, I spoke in some detail about how harmful it is to ignore the “child” in yourself! “Inner child” is the most important ego state of a person, affecting the quality of life!

Have you ever thought about what the Ekaterina-girl living inside you wants? Play? What games and what toys? Study? What exactly? Maybe she wants to draw, sing, embroider, sculpt, walk, travel, etc.? Maybe she wants something that she’s afraid to even ask for??? For example, go to the store and buy yourself everything that your soul (and wallet) allows??? And I don’t care how expensive it is! I don't care if it's not useful! I don't care if it doesn't work! Simply because I WANT IT!

Maybe you want her sweets? Cakes? Cartoons? Laugh? Should I cry???

In short, I need to think about what my “inner child” wants, what he has been waiting for for a long time and why he is sick!

Your "baby" is sick. He stopped giving you energy, “fuel”. He stopped painting your life in beautiful bright colors! We need to wake him up, treat him and start loving him!

Remember life!

As soon as we begin to forget that our child is growing and existing nearby, he begins to react: he attracts our attention with pranks. begins to disturb us, irritate us... A child may even get sick and do something out of the ordinary, just to attract our attention, to remind us that he is alive, he is alive and wants to be in the same coordinate system with us! The child may even die if we forget about him altogether. And to rebel and protest - as much as you want!!!

But these “riots”, “protests” and “diseases” are costing us dearly!

This, Katya, is our illnesses, our failed, sad life, our personal problems. For some it is alcoholism, drugs and other addictions! This is the result!

Support your "baby"! Feed him with chocolates. Teach him to trust you again. Let him have fun!

Now about fears. They are rational, justified and irrational.

As soon as the “fear of the future” comes (what will happen tomorrow, will there be enough money, etc.), then start planning! Plan and everything will be fine!

If the question is whether or not to buy something for yourself, then consider this purchase from the point of view of your financial plans. If everything is ok, then feel free to buy!

Plan everything a little in advance, but remember: THE MOST PLEASANT GIFTS TO YOUR LOVED ARE THE UNPLANNED!

And this is where you learn to overcome yourself! At least once, force yourself to do something “stupid”, but on a reasonable scale.

Remember: THIS IS THERAPY! You (or rather, your “baby”) need this “stupidity” just like bread, tea, milk, air! It will pay off for you!!!

The “child” will repay you with gratitude in the form of energy, satisfaction, and pleasure from life! He will repay you with HEALTH!

You need to learn to live your life. Just stop looking at how others live: worse, better, richer, poorer, etc.

You and your husband have YOUR OWN, UNIQUE, LIFE PATH! He - the path - should not be the same as others. He doesn't have to be better. (In general, the parameter “better or worse” is very relative!) It DEFINITELY won’t be worse. Because you are smart, modern, healthy people and want to live!

Change the order of your thinking. Take it easy on yourself and your nature.

Learn to see and love the “inner child”. Encourage yourself and him.

No criticism, no self-criticism, no comparing yourself to others!

Plan. Reasonable and calm. But allow yourself the unplanned.

Talk to your husband! I haven’t written about this in detail, but now I’m writing. Learn to voice your feelings, your anxiety. “Honey, I worry when I see how we spend money, etc. Help me figure it out!” That's exactly it!

You will relieve yourself of excessive anxiety and definitely restore balance in your soul. And your husband (your beloved man) will help you!

4.9 Rating 4.90 (5 Votes)

Many people suffer from taking life too seriously, they suffer - every failure is perceived as the end of the world, every obstacle is broken through with their heads, no other way, they demand everything possible and impossible from themselves and from people. The hardest thing is for perfectionists - they demand from themselves and from those around them compliance with some life ideals, and they suffer greatly when it is discovered that real life does not fit into the ideals and framework. So how can you approach life more simply, is this possible?

Of course, it is possible, and many people successfully practice this approach. Please do not confuse a light attitude towards life with banal indifference, which forces people to go with the flow, obeying, as they think, the finger of fate, but in fact, succumbing to their own. But going against the flow, breaking through obstacles with your head, complicating your own life’s path is also wrong, therefore, as always, you need to find a middle ground. This middle will be life in unison with the flow, the direction of which you can change when necessary (isn’t it better than fighting all your life with obstacles that you have invented for yourself?).

So, here is a recipe for how to approach life more simply:

1. Accept the fact that life cannot be perfect by definition. It’s stupid to dream of a life in which there will be no problems - after all, this is not life, but a staged picture, a photograph, like in a magazine. There will always be ups and downs in your life - that's the only thing you are guaranteed, and the downs can be either depressing or inspiring, depending on your attitude towards them. - this is how it is acquired, which becomes an important part of the personality, influencing your and future decisions. No one has ever benefited from constant reproaches addressed to you, don’t beat yourself up for bad decisions, it’s better to smile and move on with gratitude for this experience.
2. Don't see the world as a cruel, competitive place where you need to "survive" or "make it" to achieve something. You came into this world to have fun, but somewhere along the way to where you are today, you forgot about it. Now is the time to remember! Anyone who decides to enjoy the life process instead of being in constant combat readiness (in anticipation of problems and obstacles) or fear (of future events) will be able to relate to life more easily.
3. Perhaps this approach will help you - to relate to life more easily, perceive it as a game. With their serious attitude, many people deprive themselves of the joy of life; they succeed, but do not get any pleasure from it. Look at your life ahead - 10 years, 20, 30... Someday it will end, and you never received pleasure from the process, so why was all this? Of course, there will be difficulties, but if you perceive them as part of the game, it will be easier for both you and those around you.
4. If something is too difficult for you, at the cost of incredible efforts and sacrifices, this is a sure sign that you are not going towards your goal, that you are not doing your job. When you find yourself, life becomes much easier, simply because you are not opposed to your true essence, but act in accordance with. Then the barriers disappear and the joy of life appears. Find your path, and approaching life will come easier on its own.
5. And finally, if you are not satisfied with the previous approaches, here is another one, taken from V. Zeland’s book “Reality Transurfing”: when you attach too much importance to something (money, work, loved one) (and this is what those who who takes life too seriously), the balancing forces of the Universe come to your soul and eliminate the created imbalance. Anything or anyone in your life should not be valued more than everything else combined, and if you practice this approach, you will simply be robbed of what you attach exaggerated importance to. Until this happens, you need to learn to find a balance between the components of your life.

“Take life more simply,” we often hear. Some people are indeed endowed by nature with the gift of perceiving everything easily. But how to do this if you are not one of them? Many of us suffer from the fact that even small troubles unsettle us for a long time. A bad haircut, offensive words, a tasteless and cold dish in a cafe... But life is so short, and it’s stupid to spend it all on frustrations and worries. Is it possible to learn to live easily?

Scaling. Do you like your life? Your job, your life partner, friends, family? City where you live? If so, then maybe you shouldn’t worry about the fact that the hairdresser dyed you the wrong shade or gave you a bad haircut? Indeed, this is very unpleasant. Any girl knows how depressing it is to walk around for a month or two with the “wrong” color or “wrong” hairstyle on her head. But this is not a tragedy of life, and it’s a pity to even spend a few days being upset about this. A happy person will look beautiful even with an imperfect hairstyle.

There is also scaling in the opposite direction, “from large to small.” This helps at the stage of big life troubles - troubles at work, quarrels with loved ones, illness. Find little things that will make you happy every day. A funny bird on a branch outside the window, a delicious chocolate bar, clothes of your favorite color. Any little thing can be supportive and help you get through a difficult period.

Stick to your line, but be flexible. It's good if you know what you want from life. But what if everything goes wrong? Instead of trying to go ahead, isn't it better to adapt flexibly, making the most of today's circumstances? Even if they don't seem to be the most profitable. For example, you were unable to get a job in your specialty, but you need money - and you have to go to a place that is not very interesting for you. But maybe there you can develop some new skills and qualities? In a year or two, you will be busy again, and your varied resume may attract the right people to you. Make acquaintances and connections in your current place - they may come in handy.

Until something bad happens, it does not exist. So don't think about him. Unfortunately, death, disease and accidents exist on Earth. Nevertheless, many people live comfortably into old age without misfortunes or terrible diseases. You and your loved ones may well be among them. Why invent all sorts of horrors before they happen? This is not about turning a blind eye to existing problems, but about not inventing non-existent ones. If your child does not answer calls within 15 minutes, most likely he is just playing with friends and does not hear the phone call. There is no need to immediately imagine that he was hit by a car or kidnapped. Constantly thinking about scary things is unhealthy, and it certainly won’t lead to anything good. Don't bring yourself to this point, don't imagine nightmares.

Perfectionism is unfulfilled desires. When we are dissatisfied in a big way, we begin to find fault with little things about what we have. And then it suddenly turns out that the husband’s shoes are unclean, the bus is always stuck in a traffic jam, forcing you to curse everything in the world, all the cafes suddenly turn out to be noisy and have poor service, and your colleagues at work are incompetent. If annoying little things start to annoy you more and more often, think about what you are missing? No, not in small ways, but for real. Do you want to go on a trip around the world, but haven't taken a vacation in three years? Or have you ever dreamed of writing a book, but instead are trying to make a career as a manager because it is “in demand” and “reasonable”? Or, on the contrary, are you sitting at home working on your farm, but in your dreams you see yourself as a chic businesswoman conducting negotiations and traveling to business meetings? There is only one life, according to rumors. It’s not a fact that you will be able to change it radically. But if you don’t try now, you may simply not have time.

You don't have to feel ashamed for every mistake. No, really. Usually this is what our parents teach us - the desire to “succeed” in everything, from school grades to the cleanliness of your own child’s clothes and the success of your husband. If your mother asks why her grandson got so dirty, and where you yourself got such a terrible haircut, and you internally shrink (“I’m not perfect”) - perhaps this is your case. Eradicating inherited stereotypes is not easy, but it’s worth a try. You can live much more relaxed, and nothing will collapse. If you don’t wash the dishes in the evening, they will, of course, sit in the sink until the morning, and maybe even start to smell. But you wash it in the morning, ventilate the kitchen, and everything will be fine again. You can wear a blouse that doesn't match your color too well - chances are no one will even notice. And if he notices, he won’t attach any importance - most of the time people think about themselves, and not about you. So forgive yourself all the small mistakes - an imperfectly completed project at work, your son getting dirty in the yard and your shoes that don’t match your outfit.

Listen to your intuition. Science fully recognizes the existence of a “sixth sense”. Psychologists believe that some signals and impressions that we pick up, the consciousness simply does not have time to record. However, they remain in memory as a vague feeling that we call intuition. For example, you once heard out of the corner of your ear an unpleasant story about a certain person, and immediately forgot it as unnecessary. And now you have to do an important thing with this person - and your soul is restless. You no longer remember that ugly story, but your brain recorded the general impression: “He can’t.” Or you suddenly put on your makeup and dress especially carefully before a regular walk, and as if by magic, you meet the person you like. Coincidence? Perhaps he once mentioned that he lives nearby and often walks his dog in your area. In any case, life becomes much more exciting if you follow not only the cold voice of reason.